Everything is whirling around me and most of the time I’m whirling around too, but every now and then I have a moment of intense clarity.
Eye of the Storm Gives the Best View
When I stand still in the eye of the tornado and watch each item spin by like a scene from the Wizard of Oz I get a strange tingling sense of incredible detail.
Like when Dorothy is sitting at her bedroom window watching familiar objects fly by, complete with wonderful music – a chicken, men in a row boat – and then the music changes. A woman on a bike turns into an evil witch. The chicken makes Dorothy laugh and she waves to the men in the rowboat, but when the witch comes into play she screams, the music changes and suddenly she’s thrown all around her room.
Out of Control.
Dorothy doesn’t go out of control all on her own, its the wicked witch that causes her to be thrown about her bedroom. The witch is also the catalyst that lands Dorothy safely back on solid ground, unfortunately on top of the witch’s sister, but she did get some great shoes out of the deal.
Most of the time I’m swirling along with life watching the Auction begin to grow, the Halloween Carnival come to life and the rescue of a beautiful pregnant husky from the far north of Ontario named Roxy…. and then… the witch lands.
Then a wicked witch comes in and throws me around my room and I’m stuck on a two hour search along the yellow brick road. But, at the end of that brick road is OZ or in my case Little g Ranch.
It’s been a personal struggle for me to not be accepted in my home town. To be unwanted and asked to leave.
It’s a little embarrassing and a lot painful, but through the grief and shame blooms a new flower. It is difficult for me to even consider selling my childhood home. A place my father built from his two work scorn hands. A place where the framing 2x4s are soaked with my family’s blood, sweat and tears – literally. A small piece of my heart breaks away at the thought, but the rest of my heart swells with pride and my eyes burn with tears as I look upon what we built together.
Little g Ranch.
It’s not done, but the foundation is solid, the framing is new and the steel will keep it protected for decades to come. I’m watching my childhood Barbie Dream Barn come to life. Through the hurt, doubt, pain and love shines something unbelievable to me. It’s tangible. I can touch my dream and I am proud.
Don’t worry – I won’t get cocky with my new found dream barn and I won’t stop struggling for the funding to keep animal rescue alive, but you will find me standing with mist in my eyes and my heart on my sleeve as I gaze at what we have built. We made a dream come true and that’s an incredibly hard thing to achieve. Just ask Dorothy…
Now, I know the moral of the story from the Wizard of Oz is that Dorothy didn’t need to go farther than her own door to find everything she needed, but I’m going to stop that movie when she arrives in Oz and has her eyes dyed to match her shoes.
It’s not that you can’t go home again, but… should you?